Re: Washed up

van **Oskar Agard** zo dec 02 2018, 22:35

The pressure in his chest was only building up, and he felt like he was going to pass out. He was dizzy and nauseous while searching for her. It reached a peak when he finally found her and she was not moving. He turned her around, checking for a sign of life. But her eyes were closed. If anything, he would love to think of himself as a brave person. One that wasn’t shut down by fear. That was far from the truth though. There was not a single thing he could think of that might save her life. Every lesson he had ever learned, or every technique he had heard or read about, was gone. His mind was completely blank as he stared at her in shock.

Though his vision was getting more and more blurry. The tears were building up and he was still struggling for air. Completely frozen he sat next to her, without any clue of what to do now. Then, suddenly, the ‘issue’ solved itself. She jumped into a sitting position and screamed at him with a wide grin. It scared him so hard he fell backwards into the foam, face pale and cheeks wet because he couldn’t hold his emotions back anymore. He was relieved, for sure, but still too confused and overwhelmed by sadness to say anything to her. So he just looked at her, mortified, while wiping away his tears with a shaky hand.

feeling like this panic that i have will never end

van **Ka'on Agard** ma dec 03 2018, 15:18

- ka'on agard -

What she didn't expect was that Oskar would straight up fall backwards into the foam when she scared him. The way he looked at her, face pale and trembling hands trying to wipe the tears from his cheeks, made her feel seriously bad about all this. The sight made her cheerful mood disappear in an instant. It was obvious that she had hurt him with the joke that was in her eyes harmless. Never, not even once she had thought about hurting him. Or well not this time or outside of their small sibling disputes. It made her feel horrible, she was being a terrible person right now. "I'm so so sorry. I never meant to scare you like that," was all the blonde could say with a fragile voice. Very different from her usual, but that only made it clear how shocked she was because of this.

van **Oskar Agard** ma dec 03 2018, 20:14

The pace of his heartbeat was seriously going wild right now. Not only had he been exposed to an insane amount of stress minutes ago, she had also scared the living hell out of him. The way it was throbbing in his chest was almost hurting. He still felt like he could pass out any second. On top of that, he was crying. He felt incredibly vulnerable. She had probably never seen him like this, and he was afraid she would start asking questions. Questions he didn’t want to answer.

It seemed like she realised he was upset about what had happened. Oskar pulled up his legs and wrapped his arms around them, while still sitting in the foam and trying to catch his breath. ”It’s fine”, He whispered, scared his voice would crack again if he spoke any louder. ”It’s fine”, He repeated, more to himself now, in an attempt to convince himself about it. He took a few shaky breaths, and turned his gaze away from her, so she wouldn’t see how he was still tearing up about it.

feeling like this panic that i have will never end

van **Ka'on Agard** di dec 04 2018, 19:41

- ka'on agard -

She could do nothing but watch helplessly as the boy pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around them. ”It’s fine”, Oskar whispered in an incredibly soft tone. ”It’s fine”, the boy repeated. Carefully she crawled somewhat closer. The blonde tried to reach for his shoulder but even her hand was trembling. Not as much as he did but it was trembling. She was just shocked but he had her scare the hell out of him. Carefully she tried to put her hand on his shoulder in order to help him calm down. Someone's presence was often a good thing, though she did not know if her presence was the right thing in this moment. "It's alright," she spoke with a hushed voice. While she wanted to support him and be there for him, she didn't erally dare to do so. It was after all her fault that he got into this state. She usually wasn't that bothered if she hurt people by accident, they were accidents after all. But when it came to the people she saw as family, it became a whole different story.

van **Oskar Agard** do dec 06 2018, 01:33

How on earth was it possible he had such a bad breakdown in front of his sister, of all people. He did not feel great at all about that. Up until now he had been able to keep his composure around her. She was little to not aware of the fact he was feeling bad all the time. Hopefully she wouldn’t ask questions later on. At the time being, she probably realised it would not be a good idea to do so. He was still clearly upset, trying to comfort himself by wrapping his arms around his knees and mumbling to himself in a fragile voice.

For a second, he tensed up when she touched his shoulder. He had not noticed she had come closer. But as soon as he saw it was her, he relaxed again. Trying to let go of his emotions, even though that resulted in more tears. ”I’m sorry”, He whimpered. ”I didn’t mean for you to see me like this”, He continued with a soft sob. He then grabbed his own wrist and dug his nails in them, trying to get a grip himself by pulling himself back into reality.

feeling like this panic that i have will never end

van **Ka'on Agard** do dec 06 2018, 21:19

- ka'on agard -

If she only had known this would happen, she would have never done this. Without a shadow of a doubt. Sure, she fucked up pretty often but she had never fucked up this bad. She saw him tensing up and relaxing again when she touched his shoulder. This was really bad, his tears were getting worse again. ”I’m sorry”, he barely managed to say. He wasn't supposed to be sorry, she was. This was her fault after all? ”I didn’t mean for you to see me like this”, the boy continued. It kind of hurt her that not only he was appologising but also that he apparently didn't like her seeing him like this. Family was family, through both good and bad times. As soon as she noticed that he was putting his nails into his wrist, the blonde grabbed his hand. She couldn't bear seeing him hurting himself because of something she caused. Firmly Ka'on squeezed his hand, hoping that he would calm down soon. "Please don't be sorry," she managed to say on a whispering tone.

van **Oskar Agard** zo dec 09 2018, 03:16

A new wave of fear and panic crashed down on him. What if she would judge him? What if her opinion of him would change? Nothing good could ever come out of this. He had failed to keep up his walls and now it was too late to pretend like nothing had happened. He was angry at himself for getting so upset, for letting his emotions take the upper hand. Of course he could’ve known she was pulling a prank on him. That was who she was, who they were as siblings. But the anxiety had dragged him down into this state of mind he did not want anyone to witness.

It was too late already, but he knew it could get a lot worse than how he was now. So he tried his very best not to sink into it any further. Ka’on grabbed his hand, however, when he tried to pull himself back by pushing his nails into his wrist. It was a little trick he used often, but she seemed not to understand why he did it. He gave in to her squeeze though, as he didn’t want to upset her in the process. He locked his eyes with hers as she spoke, only nodding softly. He didn’t really know what else to say. He only knew he wanted to get out of here. ”Can we go now?” He whispered quietly, dropping his gaze again. He felt super tired, and all he wanted to do was get in bed and sleep for a few days now.

feeling like this panic that i have will never end

van **Ka'on Agard** zo dec 09 2018, 23:20

- ka'on agard -

She never expected that she would see him like this. So fragile, so full of sorrow and so broken. Never, not even once, had she though something like this was going on inside of him. He always seemed so cheerful when he was around her, full of mischief, fun plans and challenges. She would never have guess that something so painful lay beneath that smile. While she was grateful that he turned his eyes towards here when she spoke, it only became more evident through his eyes. She couldn't deny that her eyes were gleaming because of the starting tears she was trying to blink away. The blonde couldn't forgive herself for what she had done but that would be even less likely if she left his side now. ”Can we go now?” Oskar asked after averting his eyes once more. "Alright," she responded on a whispering tone before getting up. She refused to let go of his hand, not until he had settled down completely. No matter how long that would take.

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Re: Washed up van Oskar Agard zo dec 02 2018, 22:35

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Re: Washed up
van Oskar Agard zo dec 02 2018, 22:35

Re: Washed up
van Ka'on Agard ma dec 03 2018, 15:18

Re: Washed up
van Oskar Agard ma dec 03 2018, 20:14

Re: Washed up
van Ka'on Agard di dec 04 2018, 19:41

Re: Washed up
van Oskar Agard do dec 06 2018, 01:33

Re: Washed up
van Ka'on Agard do dec 06 2018, 21:19

Re: Washed up
van Oskar Agard zo dec 09 2018, 03:16

Re: Washed up
van Ka'on Agard zo dec 09 2018, 23:20

Re: Washed up
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